Who am I?
What does your internal dialogue about your identity tell you?
We identify ourselves ALL the time! An example could be telling someone that “I’m a mother", or, "I’m a parent”. Seems pretty normal, yeah? So, what happens to this sense of identity when your children leave home?
Perhaps you identify yourself as "a gym junkie”, or “a runner”. Notice how this identification can really help you to maintain your motivation levels!
Or maybe you identify yourself as a winner, or a champion… and this helps you stay on track, because you always ask yourself, “how would a winner, or how would a champion train, or do anything for that matter?”
Not you? Why Not?
The same thing applies when we identify ourselves with less healthy behaviours. “I’m a smoker” or “I can't wait to have that wine after work to wind down” or “I treat myself with chocolate, or chips, or ice cream, once the kids are in bed, because that's when I can relax”.
What happens when you don’t have that cigarette? or that alcoholic drink? or that junk food?
Do you feel a sense of lack, like something is missing? Do you know that feeling you can't quite put your finger on, I'm referring to?
We identify ourselves all the time, in so many ways. From the physical (I'm overweight) and mental conditions (I'm depressed, anxious, grieving), with material possessions (I have a sports car or properties), with religion (I'm an atheist), politics... with drugs and alcohol (I'm an addict)... and the list goes on.
Why do we seem to get drawn into attaching ourselves to what seems like an easy answer, or a darker identity, such as drug abuse, compulsive shopping or gambling, or eating? Why do we look to compensate for feeling more “alive” or “happy” or "less angry" or "less depressed".
Talking to an NLP coach can help you to let go of these darker attachments that are not serving you, and allow you to reconnect with your more authentic self.
When we understand what drives us, we can begin to align ourselves to our purpose. To manifest what it is that we deeply desire.
With this knowledge, we can let go of unhealthy or negative self-identifications that are actually just causing us more harm than good, and start to nurture those qualities that are consistent with our true self.
When our behaviour is not consistent with our true self, it takes up more head space and fills the mind with self-doubt, self-conscious and negative thoughts. Because misrepresenting yourself or trying to be someone you’re not is not only exhausting for you but it exhausting for those around you.
Digging deep and doing the work to know your true identity will take courage and commitment. But when you are ready, you will be in such a hurry to rip off those band aids because you will know that you have actually healed yourself. And you will have all the rewards: increased self-esteem, reduced anxiety and depression, happiness and gratitude.
You will learn and have the tools to design and create what it is you want in this life, to create your own wealth, your own happiness and to stop relying on masks to cover up your guilt, your shame, your sadness, your anger, your grief, or whatever other emotions you're feeling RIGHT NOW that are holding you back.
Isn't it time to stop worrying about what you think everyone else thinks and start noticing what you think.
Isn't it time to do what you know you should be doing and let go of those things you think you should be doing...